viernes, agosto 28, 2009

No Fear, No Help

Today's Buddha quote reads: "The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed".
Well, this is a hard-to-swallow piece of bread for me, which I intend to keep in my mouth until I'm able to gulp it down.
This is especially true when unexpectedly tough situations have occurred within my circle of family, friends, and myself. All my life seems to have changed overnight, and sometimes I feel so afraid and concerned that it's so difficult to find some time with myself to sit, breath consciously, and meditate.
One of my friends was diagnosed with a brain tumor, 90 per cent of which was surgically removed. The following week he started chemotherapy, and though they said the side-effects would be minimum, this turned out to be a big lie. Last Sunday my heart sank as I saw a knocked out man who couldn't move or talk and had difficulty breathing, desperately trying to wake up but helplessly falling into uncounsciousness.
He hadn't had any food or liquid for a whole day, and seeing that we were completely unable to make him regain consciousness we called the paramedics and took him to the hospital. This is happening to a man who never drank alcohol or smoked because he preferred to exercise and live a healthy lifestyle all the time. How not to be afraid? How not to need help?
In the early hours of Sunday I drove from work to my mother's house, and as I was parking the headlamps illuminated the figure of my mom sitting in the dark porch. I jumped off and asked if she was all right. She said she was OK but just couldn't sleep.We went to bed immediately and I felt her breathing more relieved.
Later in the morning she told me she had been afraid because a man was in the back yard walking to and fro. I know that this is not true, but it only makes me feel worse. The thing is she feels lonely and preoccupied, and this is causing her to see and hear things.
I spoke to one of my sisters and she said she's going to move in with Mother. God bless her, I know it's not an easy thing to do but we both know company is what my mother needs above all things -- especially at night.
To top it off, I was thoughtless enough to drink an ice-cold frappe drink when I was thirsty and hot, sweating all over, and this caused me a terrible cold that has lasted almost for the whole week. This might seem unimportant for many, but to me is a matter of concern. I just have to take care of my health.

3 comentarios:

  1. Hijo, soy de Guanajuato pero vivo en el DF, bueno me mudo en noviembre a Edo. de Méx, donde mi familia vive, somos Texcocanos.

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  2. Hijo soy de Guanajuato, vivo en el DF y en noviembre me voy a vivir con mi familia al Edo. de Méx, son Texcocanos.

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  3. Pues,cuídate,
    La verdad no entendí mucho, solo algo de un amigo enfermo y parece ser que te sentiste mal, entonces, si es eso... pues deseo que te recuperes pronto.

    Sorry, no sé inglés.

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